Cheating, Evil, Fuel Supply, Lovebombing, Toxic Behaviors, Warning Signs


As the details come out about the secret life of a man who murdered his wife, unborn child and two toddler daughters-the more we see the pattern of a life that was rife with corruption, lies, and dark secrets. Studying the worst narcissist breed can teach us many lessons.”

Using Light to Live in the Shadows

Chris Watts is a man who was living his life in the dark shadows. An extreme narcissist, he used his marriage to a kind and beautiful woman to hide the dark second life he was living behind her back. He used his marriage to hide random hookups with women he met on Tinder, where he had “rough sex” and shared secret “rape fantasies” with one-night stands. One woman who came forward told police he had been so rough with her, she refused to ever see him again. He also used his marriage to hide the gay sexual relationships he was having with a male escort for nearly a year. He smeared his wife to family and friends, lied to targets about the reality of his life to gain their sympathy and make them feel sorry for him. At every turn, this narcissist made himself look like and seem like the vicitm-when the the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

How does one person weave such a web of lies? It’s not as complicated as you may think once you understand how a narcissist functions, operates and their tactics. Rule number 1 for any narcissist is to NEVER GET CAUGHT.  Every tactic they take is to avoid discovery at every cost.

A Primary Supply Source as Cover
A narcissist is about the fake facade. They want you to see them as one way, when they are actually a different person behind closed doors. Often narcissists choose smart, kind, beautiful/handsome unknowing spouses so they can use their marriages as a way to hide their covert activities. If a narcissist is married to a great person, they couldn’t/wouldn’t possibly be cheating or lead a double life. Why would they?

Sneaky Apps to Cover Up Tracks
Police found nude photos of Chris Watts’ new mistress Nicole Kessinger in a secret app on his phone called Secret Calculator. This app is meant to look like a calculator, but hides a vault of secret photos and videos behind a fake front door (porn, lovers, etc.). Narcissists LOVE souvenirs of their prey. They take mental fuel supply from reliving their conquests or their sneakiness. If they took the photos or videos without permission, even better! You can bet a narcissist is not only cheating, but the incriminating evidence isn’t very far from their phone.

Here are a few other apps cheaters love to use:

He Gathered Blackmail Material to Devalue His Targets
Chris Watts was taking nude photos of his lovers. Why? The answer is simple. When he gets bored with his new target and decides to devalue them and discard them, he has plenty of juicy blackmail material to threaten his victims with. He might use this lovely information to extort money from someone, accidentally post nude photos of them at work, or send pictures to their child’s school. For a narcissist, no evil is ever out of bounds. The intel is assurance the narcissist can do with the victim whatever he feels like doing without threat of getting caught or being sold out. A person being threatened would never dare to tell his wife the truth. It’s a safety net the narcissist will never get caught.

He Smeared his Wife
Why does a narcissist smear the person he’s in a committed relationship? It’s about power. It’s also about careful power shifting and positioning. If the narcissist can make people believe the kind and good natured person he is married to is a monster in disguise-he knows who in their circle are easily manipulated and will believe anything he says. It’s a way to recruit the flying monkeys.

It’s also a tactic to keep the victimized spouse/partner trapped in the abusive relationship. If the victim tries to tell anyone of these cronies about their experience, the gullible monkey will send her back to her situation without ever asking for the truth or facts of the situation (because the narcissist has already sold his fake version of the truth and they already believed it).

People who are ripe for cronie-hood are family members you had a falling out with, former friends, jealous coworkers, or even friends who are envious of your life. A clever narc will have monkeys in every social and friend circle the victim is in. Essentially surrounding them with saboteurs and people trying to derail and harm the victim.

He Was an Expert at Playing the Victim
We saw in our Facebook post today how Chris Watts used clever lies to to frame his wife as an abuser when she was the victim! He told his parents she was abusive, told lovers he was in a loveless marriage. . .all clever lies to make the targets feel sorry for or empathize with the narcissist.

He Used Future Faking to Lure New Targets
Chris Watts used big dreams about his future with his new mistress. He talked about starting a life with her, “starting over”, and being truly happy. He sold her lies about a new home (when his current home was behind on payments) and living a lavish life of travel and leisure (when he was in severe debt). His lies worked so well, his mistress was Googling wedding dresses after only dating Chris for a few months (and she had no idea he had gay lovers or was meeting randoms for hookups on Tinder).

The Red Flags

    Be wary of potential suitors that push for commitment too soon or mention marriage unusually fast in the relationship.
    Ask a lot of questions about a suitor’s past, present and future. Ask them about former relationships, then investigate and do your own homework.
    You can purchase applications that run reports on residences, former spouses, and even criminal activity. Do your homework and protect yourself.
    It sounds simple, but in today’s random hookup world of Tinder, Bumble, Match, Plenty of Fish, etc. there are plenty of narcissists in disguise picking their victims like they are eating from a menu at the flesh buffet. Many of these narcissists are not “well” when it comes to sex. They are dark, sadistic lovers who use pain to shame and abuse one-night lovers. They also care little about protection or spreading the STD they are likely carrying.
    If you are given expensive gifts, fancy trips, and lavish luxuries early in your relationship-these gifts are not free! A narcissist NEVER gives anything without repayment. If it feels too good to be true, it is. There are NO PRINCE CHARMINGS in the world and fairytales are fake. If he is working too hard to be your knight in shining armour-run!
    A narcissist can read you like a book. If you love being complimented or seek approval from others, a discerning narc will know you will make a great new target. If you are confident of who you are in your own right, a narcissist will want nothing to do with you. A narcissist can’t stand confidence or anyone who has the ability to stand up for themselves and tell them off.
    If you’re gut is telling you something smells fishy, it most definitely is. You need to trust that instinct and investigate the truth or feeling enough to have the courage to walk away from a toxic and abusive person.
Cheating, Fuel Supply, Sex, Toxic Behaviors


If you were/are in a relationship with a narc and can’t understand why they’re constantly flirting with members of the same sex. It’s because all women and men are viewed as a potential fuel source victims/targets. The narc may also be gender fluid, which means the narc doesn’t identify male or female. This gender fluidity makes it convenient for them to take fuel from whomever they can–without shame, guilt or dealing with the confusing consequences it creates for their spouses or partners.”

The Non-Binary Abuser
The term non-binary means a man or woman does not identify as being attracted to sexually to a specific gender. Many extreme narcissists on the spectrum can fall into this category. An extreme narcissist is entitled to do, think, feel or say whatever he pleases. The world is simply here to cater to his every whim and desire. Outwardly the narc may say and express gender identity (often heterosexuality), but it is a ruse to conceal the true sexuality of the narcissist. Being gender fluid means more human flesh the narc can consume over a lifetime. Each victim is another notch on a belt of delicious conquests. Each holds a special a mental and physical portion the narcissist consumes again-and-again for years to come in that twisted and toxic mind.

The World is Their Buffet
I’ve written in the past how sex is the ultimate source of fuel and gives the narc the perfect setup to get either positive or negative supply. When given the chance, a narc will seduce any given number of people, of any sex, race or culture to ensure a constant supply of positive or negative praise they must devour from people.

They don’t care about “whom” they are sleeping with (most relationships will involve a sexual encounter at some point) as much as when they can get their fix. I’ve even read studies the narcissist may not even climax, nor is that their aim. Instead, the sexual act is about the narcissist being in full power and control. Yes you read that correctly. The narc gets a bigger thrill from the power trip than the orgasm created by the sexual act itself!

Non-Stop Feedback is as Essential as Breathing
A true narcissist needs a constant flow of positive or negative praise to function. Ignoring a narcissist is pure death in its most evil form. They must constantly be the center of someone’s world or tearing someone’s world apart. It is as essential to their existence as breathing. This need for continuous acknowledgement and attention is what is referred to as narcissistic fuel supply. Taking positive/negative feedback is like a drug addict needing another hit. They simply can’t function or live without it.

You Are Meat to the Narc
To become fuel means the human form is nothing more than something to be used and consumed. The narcissist slyly traverses his relationship with his spouse or long-term partner by keeping them off the trail through a web of elaborate lies. The primary partner is mostly a cover for the truly vile activities the narcissist is up to. While deceiving a primary partner and outwardly appearing to be a fine husband (or wife), the narcissist is carrying on with a number of lovers or fan club of both sexes on the side. All while lapping the the pleasure it gives him to be so clever in deceiving the kind person he’s married to or in a committed relationship. He also enjoys and takes satisfaction in having his other lovers clamoring for his sexual attention. He may even go as far as to triangulate them in public to make them openly compete for his affection.

No matter your status in the relationship with the narcissist, all lovers are nothing more than a meal. A piece of meat on platter to the narc. The narc feels nothing and cares nothing for anyone. Love is a display of weakness. Compassion is for the simple minded. To manipulate, control, conquer, intellectually outwit and callously play with multiple human puppets–is a genius only an experienced extreme narcissist can accomplish. The narc’s only thought and focus is where and by whom the fuel need will be met.

Protect Yourself
If leaving your narcissist is something you can’t do or aren’t ready to do now, you need to know the narcissist’s sexual deviance is a large risk to your health. I would recommend taking precautions to protect yourself immediately. Narcs are not known for having protected sex because it reduces their own sexual pleasure or is an awkward interruption to their bedroom performance. Research has also shown they are not compelled to have protected sex even if they are sexually involved with multiple partners.

Whomever the narcissist is having sex with, you are having sex with too. Refuse to be intimate unless he wears a condom and only have protected sex if you suspect your narcissist is having sexual affairs outside your relationship. I also recommend regularly testing for a full panel of sexually transmitted diseases. Many former spouses and long-term victims have been given HPV, vaginal infections, or worse! Get tested if you’re unsure (see links below in the US).