THE LOVE TRAP
Narcissists are great actors. They pretend to feel and experience love all the ways you do. Once you give your heart to a narcissist, they believe you are giving them absolute permission to do with it whatever they like. “
Empaths are uniquely wired and believe the entire world thinks, acts, and believes in the basic rules of fairness and morality. The reality is, there are evil people in this world who seek to destroy and disrupt all of this. Narcissists prey on kind hearted and genuine people to use and destroy. They use love as weapon to inflict pain and it’s one of their best games.
You Feel Everything
The Narcissist Feels Nothing
An empath is a truly real and honest person. We wear our hearts on our sleeves. We care for everyone, want everyone to be happy and to feel loved. What we feel is real, true and authentic. The idea of “faking” how we feel about something or someone is counterintuitive to our natures. We are healers, teachers, mothers, nurses, minsters, and caregivers. When we love, we love deeply and for a lifetime.
A narcissist does not feel the same way an empath does. Narcissists view feeling anything as weak. They smell your “feelings” a mile away. It’s a stench of weakness they follow like wolves hunting prey. They believe allowing your emotions to rule your mind or thoughts is infantile and shows a lack of their intelligence and control. A narcissist is ruler over emotion and would never let love get in the way of their sick joy ride, but they know how to fake love to get you to fall for them.
How They Do It
A narcissist knows once he has you in his clutches and has checked all the boxes to make you fall in love with him-you are ripe for whatever he has in store next. They apply one or all the tactics to lure you into the love trap.
A narcissist will make you feel like you hang the moon. They will swoon you, woo you, and make you feel you walk on water. They will ooze charm and compliment you on everything. They will tell you constantly how much they adore you, are attracted to you, how much they want you and how you are perfect for them. They will make you believe they are “the one” and will do anything to convince you. During this stage of the relationship NOTHING is too much. Expensive gifts, lavish trips, you can have anything your heart desires. . .but it comes with a price.
A narcissist is perfect at telling you exactly what you want to hear. If your dream is to be married and have a big house full of children, the narcissist will tell you how he is looking at a home to build a future for you. He will carefully seed thoughts in your mind about marriage and having a family. He will tell you it’s his only wish and you are his dream come true to share it with. This is all a lie to get you to fall more deeply into their trap of deception.
This is a sneaky tactic a narcissist uses to make you think you are “made for each other.” Narcissists carefully study their victims. They use social media and other outlets to research you, learn about your friends, your family, hobbies and things that make you happy. They take this intel and feed it back to you, pretending to share your same interests and dreams.If you posted last year you love skiing in Aspen, the narcissist will be an avid ski fan and pepper your conversations about how beautiful Colorado is in winter with fresh powder. The narcissist wants you to believe you are one in the same. That you reflect him, but the narcissist is just a clever spy who studied your life to mimic and feedback to you the things you care about.
“Trust Me. I’m different.” False Bonding/Trust
A narcissist will use all the techniques above to create a false bond with you-fast! This is one of their greatest cons. The narcissist wants you to feel safe and will tell you whatever you need to hear to believe he is an exceptional person of the most upstanding character. They will tell you they are “old fashioned” and value monogamous relationships, when they are misogynistic and highly abusive. They will tell you they are Christian, when they use scripture to break women of faith. They will tell you they have never online dated, when they have multiple accounts on numerous dating and porn sites.
The narcissist is one of the most dangerous people to extend trust before it’s been earned. If you let your guard down quickly and feel a false sense of trust, the narc knows he has you. You are putty in his hands and your boundaries are about to be tested and retested to the breaking point.
Good Deeds Tally Sheet
The narcissist will go to great lengths to proof his superhero love for you. He will help a sick friend of yours. Do favors without asking anything in return and will seem like a kind and thoughtful person to the unsuspecting eye. Secretly, the narcissist is keeping score. Every kind thing he does now, he will expect to be repaid later. No good deed ever goes unpaid-ever!
Narcissists are generally great lovers and it’s because they have had a lot of practice with their craft. They know exactly how to seduce, entice and entrap to make sex feel like the spiciest romance novel. They want you to be addicted. The sex so great and so wonderful you are just completely snowed over so you will do anything, anywhere with them. Be warned this is giant trap.
Pushing You Away
They will triangulate you with their work, friends, other lovers and do whatever it takes for you to prove how much you want them or need them. They want you to compete for their time and attention.